Hisses

you would have been dead a year when

i learned of it, and i did not feel sad and

i did not feel happy.  i feared the

energy that had splashed from your many heads
into the universe,

the ferocious ink and dribble of your soul, vicious
sprung free

you still, my chocolate nightmare

you lurk hydra in my me, you

slither down my back, sneak attack,

a liquid cocoa poison,

oozing wounds 
until i wake

it’s still the same.

and no one there was listening.

so i salt my apple pies and

i iron the pillowcases and i

dream that i can run

from believing.  dream that

relative is a place,

beyond seduction
                    thrust and recoil

and love is a place,

beyond seduction 
                    thrust and recoil 

but all those years i

looked like hell and was
an embarrassment, from you 
i earned one dull black stone
and

you still, my chocolate nightmare

you live hydra in my me, you

swimming down my back, sneak attack,

a liquid cocoa poison,

ooze from my wounds 
until i wake

your long cinnamon breath, your slippers and 
sad eyes, your kindness to everyone around me

rendered

me 

dirt 
and cake my sleep, fear i keep

you still, my chocolate nightmare

you lie hydra in my me, you

trickle down my back, sneak attack,

a liquid cocoa poison,

oozing wounds 
until i wake

and you are still my nightmare