faithfulness

Then

i thought we were alike in our exaltation

because together we made chaste pilgrimages to the mystical.

believing in the miraculous

and greedy we traveled frequently

and knelt by the injuries emptinesses and 

carelessly pooled aches inside ourselves

that wanted healing: the episodes of twisting limping 

darknesses the lisping songs of passion and scorn.  

we were exposed, and eased.

longing and congress were our common prayer

i thought.

then adorned with scars: we became tidy structures 

graceful seeing fluent and recognized.

and we gathered under fragrant trees 

upon pillows of crushed needles

and were censed with this hot perfume:  of juniper, sage

ponderosa pine.

this aroma sweet and dry

curling about the body of us and carrying it to away.

longing and congress were our common prayer

i thought.

  

Now

i know you will grant me blessings, confirmation and

perform the ritual of sacrifice

and you will offer that holy, that heaven, and clemency. 

those, but not all of creation.  not you.

you are a conduit for the divine

and carefully, completely possessed

of your separateness, your dedicated flesh.

you serve small tender fragments that disappear, become me. 

and  you are one and i am another and we both know this but.

will you hear my confession:  i have failed.  

and you place your warm palm upon me

and i am flooded and

you are promised elsewhere.